Celebrate Good News

As one of the top marriage researchers in the country, Howard Markman codirects the University of Denver’s Center for Marital and Family Research. “We’ve found that the positives are more and more essential,” he adds. It turns out that a couple’s level of enjoyment and the depth of their connections are good indicators of how they will do in the future.

Research shows happy couples are more committed, intimate, trustworthy, and satisfied with their relationships. It’s not enough for your partner to know that you value their achievements. You must demonstrate it. Making a big deal out of the little, positive things that occur every day can strengthen your marriage.

(The ideal method to respond to your spouse’s good news is as follows.)

Five To One

How many positive moments are necessary to balance out the negative ones? According to research, the ratio is 5 to 1.

You don’t have to add up every good and bad, but your likelihood of divorcing increases significantly if they are almost equal.

According to For Better: How the Amazing Science of Happy Couples Can Help Your Marriage Succeed:

A startling pattern became apparent as University of Washington academics examined the data. There are at least five times as many pleasant encounters as negative ones in happy relationships. The marriage is more likely to end in divorce when the ratio starts to decline. No couple can keep track of their positive and negative behavior’s in real life. On any one day, hundreds of them take place. But, the lesson here is that saying “I’m sorry” once for poor actions is insufficient. In order to keep the good-to-bad ratio from falling to a dangerous level, one must amp up the positives in a marriage for every rude remark or nasty outburst.

Keep Your Standards High

People are constantly being advised that their expectations for marriage are too high. According to research, those who have higher expectations tend to succeed.

Don’t accept an inferior marriage.

According to For Better: How the Amazing Science of Happy Couples Can Help Your Marriage Succeed:

According to Dr. Baucom, people who have high ideals, who genuinely want to be treated well, and who desire romance and passion in their marriages are more likely to experience these types of unions. Low-standard individuals who don’t demand respect, open communication, or romanticism wind up in partnerships that don’t provide those things. Better marriages result from husbands and spouses holding each other to a reasonable level.

Stay Close To Family And Friends

Nowadays, we expect to receive all of our closeness and support from the two people who make up our marriage. That is neither practical nor healthy.

Inform your family and acquaintances. Not your sole relationship, your marriage should be your main one.

According to For Better: How the Amazing Science of Happy Couples Can Help Your Marriage Succeed:

According to Dr. Coontz, couples may not benefit greatly from all this closeness. She contends that lessening the emotional demands placed on partners is the best approach to strengthening a marriage. This does not imply that you and your spouse will no longer share emotional closeness. It simply means that married couples have a lot to gain from strengthening their ties to friends and family.

Don't Expect Your Spouse To Make You Happy

Even after extremely happy occasions like a wedding, research reveals that the majority of people’s happiness eventually returns to their natural baseline.

It is impractical and unfair to expect a spouse to permanently alter one’s ability to be happy.

According to For Better: How the Amazing Science of Happy Couples Can Help Your Marriage Succeed:

The surprising finding from study is that happiness is largely stable. Although a significant life event (such as getting married or having a child) may temporarily increase happiness, research indicates that most people eventually return to their own unique happiness “set point.” According to study, your life’s experiences won’t usually impact your degree of happiness if you gave it a score of 7.5 on a scale of 1 to 10.

Have More Sex

Desire might wane during the course of a marriage. Despite this, having sex is healthful and has many psychological and biological advantages that cannot be disregarded.

According to For Better: How the Amazing Science of Happy Couples Can Help Your Marriage Succeed:

Regular sex can help you become happier, more patient, less angry, and have better, more fulfilling relationships over time.

According to For Better: How the Amazing Science of Happy Couples Can Help Your Marriage Succeed:

Put this book down and go have sex with your spouse.

Excitement!

In order to maintain the rush of their first-time love, couples don’t need more “nice” activities; instead, they need more thrilling activities.

According to For Better: How the Amazing Science of Happy Couples Can Help Your Marriage Succeed:

The couples retook tests to evaluate the strength of their relationships after ten weeks. In comparison to the group that had “pleasant” date evenings, those who experienced “exciting” date nights had a considerably higher rise in marital satisfaction. By regularly attempting new things and engaging in novel experiences with your partner, you may safeguard your marriage. List the enjoyable activities you and your partner like doing together before making a list of what you’d like to attempt next.